Wednesday, April 23, 2014

easter and other thoughts.

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So I have been thinking a lot about this blog space and what it is to me, and how far I have veered from where I intended it to be. I have been posting more about style as it seemed like a safe choice, because I was started to feel vulnerable to harsh comments on parenting styles and life choices in general. It turns out my heart is much deeper than caring about clothes and style - as much as I love to share those things, I really miss sharing the real aspects of our life. Not so much that I feel we have a lot to share, but because I, from the start, intended this as a place where I could document my life raising my boys. Our journey. Turns out the world and especially the internet is full of people who love to tear people down and exploit flaws. The good news is that those people don't affect my life directly. I have slowly turned away from sharing my heart, and our world, and I really want to get that part of my blog back.

The thing about being vulnerable is it means that you are learning and growing from your experience and your mistakes. Life is one big learning curve and finding your way never gets easier. I am always aware of my personal flaws and working on them is a grueling and painful process, but I really am working hard on myself. I am working on being a better me, in hopes that I can be better for my kids and for Andy.

I have really lost myself this past year. I always felt I had a really strong grasp on who I am, but having 3 kids has really tinkered with my feeling like superwoman. I felt like I was constantly failing someone. I felt like I could never catch up on the tasks in front of me. It turns out that it was my joy that has suffered the most. I miss being that happy mom who it enthusiastic and genuine about things. I miss being that mom who dances when she hears a song she loves. I miss being that mom who reads endless amounts of books to her kids because she doesn't care about the laundry piled up beside her. I miss feel authentic in my reactions to my kids situations and when my friends need me. I just miss having time to do it all. I shared about the end of nursing Wrennyn and how I needed to be done so I could get back to being me. Well, It has been a little over 2 months and I can finally say that I am working on things. I turn 30 in 2 days and my biggest goal is to get healthy in both my body and my mind. I won't be shaken and I won't be defeated. This is my journey. I am ready to take the lead. I am thankful to all of you who have supported me this past year, but I am most grateful to my real life friends who are always behind the scenes and cheering me on!


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

style smaller | growing pains

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As a mother it is your job to protect your child. We want to keep them away from every circumstance that may harm them or hurt them. Well, once you send your child off to grade school it is a learning curve as a mom. You can't keep them away from everything, it turns more into a battle of how to teach them to deal with it and how to stand up for themselves while still maintaining a "how to be likable" factor. It is a lesson that has come well into play during first grade. Rowan is by far my meekest child. He doesn't like to stand out and he certainly doesn't want to be embarrassed and he doesn't want to be lonely. What I have really noticed is how much his wardrobe and discussing what he is wearing comes into conversation. Things he may love when at home he requests to not wear them to school for fear of being teased. My heart breaks at how young these things happen. It is overwhelming as a mom to find your child having anxiety over clothes. I mean what the crap! FIRST GRADE! Why do the kids give a rip?!? Why do they pay attention and focus on these things? There are kids who look for every opportunity at hand to tease those around them, and there is no protection from it. So, with Rowan battling how to stand up for himself yet wanting to fit in I have really taken a look at the things I am putting him in. I made a conscious and intentional effort to get things that are more athletic looking, and to stay away from prints that were questionable. It is a sad time to think that children this young pay such close attention to these things. Why can't it be cool just because you like it? Since Rowan isn't one to stand up for  himself I really had to keep in mind that kids may notice what he has on, and he won't want to stand out too much. So keeping it basic yet unique was a big task for me since I tend to like loud and dual-gender prints.

Rowan and I have  had a few discussions about clothes not mattering. I have also expressed to him how important it is to not tease other's about what they wear. He knows that it is just a fun thing to dress up, but that it in NO WAY represents who a person is as a whole. So, I let him have a say and pick out his own clothes this year. I wanted to be sure he felt confident in what he wears. We both loved these Soft Gallery finds from my friend Kinga's shop Four Monkeys - I feel like they are really natural laid-back pieces and they still have a cool athletic factor. I also let Rowan choose his shoes for the spring and he picked these sleek MAA shoes which I love because they can be sporty or dressy depending on how we pair them. I really wanted to keep his look athletic and comfortable without giving into sports gear plastered with logo and obnoxious sayings on them, I feel like this is a really great look that translates well with his age.

It is such a unique transition in parenting when you hit these "social norms" that are completely relevant. We are learning how to find our way one step at a time.

You can find Rowan's tee here // shorts here // shoes here (coming to the site soon) // bag is from here

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

create | eleni's new york

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We got the cutest little package from Eleni's New York is was a little gift tin full of Easter eggs to color mess-free! Rowan, our little starving artist, couldn't wait to get his hands in there! He spent so much time making detailed little scenes on his eggs and Brinley was a little bit more concerned when we could be done coloring and start eating the eggs! I had just as much fun as the kids making fun little faces on my eggs.

I love the idea behind this, especially because we are one of those homes where I get so excited to dye Easter eggs and 3 minutes in to it the boys are over it and I end up sitting there by myself and finishing... this way everyone was involved - there was no stress or prep. It was the perfect little after school project! I also think it is a really cute gift to send a friend who doesn't live near you. We make so many friends on instagram and this is the perfect type of gift to send someone for a Birthday! I was thrilled to have come across this cute little site and will definitely keep it bookmarked so I can have it handy the next time I want to send someone a fun little mess-free activity! I love all of their color me sets you can see them here.

Thanks for the fun little package Eleni's New York, it was delightful and delicious!


Sunday, April 6, 2014

style smaller | appaman


This week the boys were on spring break and it really was a time where I sat back and thought about the preview of what our summer was going to look like. This past year after having Wrennyn was a big struggle for me finding time to balance adding a baby into the mix while raising older children. My heart hurt, because I realized I felt out of touch with having intimate moments and time alone with each boy as an individual. I have felt tired and worn, no doubt, but I also really missed the times where I had to spend with each boy. Rowan and I really have had the biggest change in our relationship, especially as he had grown on his own just with age, he has needed my help less and less. As I thought about our summer and what all this change meant for us, I really evaluated where I was spending my time. I was trying to get rest and quiet time for myself when Wrennyn was napping, and it just didn't seem right with the boys home. I knew that this was a change I was going to work really hard at this summer. Sacrificing my alone time. I missed being present for the big boys. I missed playing games like candyland and just finding little moments to laugh together. Rowan and I started playing catch one day, and I teared up thinking of how much I missed these mild moments of being his mom and being part of simple play time activities. I realized I had really slacked off in a lot of areas. We have always treasured what a tight-knit group we are, and I felt it slipping away from me these past few months. I am so glad that while the boys had the week off, I took the time to gain some of that back. It is my goal to strive for this individual time with them this summer. To be part of the little things, the things that they feel are important. To not be so exhausted with just the mundane tasks in life that I don't listen to them when they need me most. Because the habits we form and develop now will be the building blocks for how our lives will be paved in the future, and they are the stepping stones for what our relationship with our kids will evolve to. I am trying to figure out how it all works together, but I am so thankful that kids are resilient and they have a heart of love and forgiveness. I know there are times when I have failed, just due to my lack of trying, or being overwhelmed, but I am ready to move on and be stronger and be that mom that takes extra time to listen to their hearts and their deepest worries. I want to not only be their mom, but I want to be their friend.

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We got these gorgeous suits for Easter from Appaman who is one of the few brands that specializes in fine tailoring for children. I think every young boy should have a suit in his life - something that makes him look both charming and fabulous. I love anything in chambray and I can't wait to show my boys off in these designer duds. The fit is absolutely beautiful. One of my least favorite things about boys' clothing is when they look like they are wearing a shrunken version of their dad's clothing, Appaman makes the suits so they are designed for a child's body with a modern twist on slim fit. I
can't begin to tell you how charming my boys became the moment they put their new suits on. I suppose the photos speak for themselves :)

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I also wanted to share that last summer I was asked to be part of an amazing opportunity - I was featured alongside some of the most incredible women in a feature film about blogging. Below is the the trailer. I am so thankful for the beautiful people I have met through my blog and the many life changing connections it has brought me. It was an honor to be filmed with my family and just talk about our little space where I share my heart. Thank you Chris for having us share our story, we can't wait to see the full film! I especially want to thank all of you, for following our journey, cheering us on, and being our friends. You guys mean the world to me!

American Blogger Official Trailer from Chris Wiegand on Vimeo.