Tuesday, November 13, 2012

mommy encounters...

a morning in. sometimes being out and about exhausts me. not the actuality of being out but the run-ins that occur when running around doing errands. one encounter in particular really just made me want to cozy up and stay inside and keep to myself the following day. here is the tale of what happened...

i was out and about with brinley (as rowan is in school now - as you know) so it was just the two of us. 
now when i go to a "mommy" store and have to have strict "no touch" rules i try to compensate once we get out of the store by having a little fun and being silly with my kids as a thank you for their obedience. i only find this to be a fair and very enjoyable compromise. so there we were in the parking lot playing a little game of hide-n-seek (obviously a mild game considering we were in a parking lot). well brinley was laughing hysterical and thought he was being so sneaky behind a car and i was laughing because he was in plain view for me to see as i was about to snatch him up. it was just a simple adorable moment that was rudely interrupted by a stranger... the lady says to me "oh, i am glad to see you are enjoying him now... it won't be as easy to have fun with him once that baby comes" clearly pointing to my tummy and acknowledging my pregnancy she then continues "i have 2 at home and well, it isn't as easy to find time to play these little games, so do enjoy it!" now for her sake i do know she was being sincere, but her added know-it-all tone dug at me. and let me also say i usually would normally just act like i was grateful for her wise words and let it go... but, well, i just couldn't! i thought a moment for responding, and thought to myself "why should i shut my mouth? i am a good mom of not just 1, but 2 kids!!! and why should i allow her to make me feel guilty for enjoying them both!?" and with that i turned to her and said "actually! i do have another one at home (insert snarky smile here) and i still take time to enjoy these moments when i can, but thank you for the warning." i must admit it burned coming out. and i was so shocked i said it that i don't even remember her response or if she had one at all. immediately i felt guilt and panic rush over me. why did i say anything????? i should have just done my usual empty giggle and let them think they are right. why this time did i respond??!!!! 

here is the thing, moms, we have every right to respond! if someone is bold enough to make such assumptions about your life, and vocalize them, you have EVERY right to confidently correct them! no other mom should make you feel like you are inferior about how you do things as a parent. ever! no matter what! it doesn't mean you are horrible for responding. sure i wish i would have said it a little nicer. but i should not regret letting her know that i am a busy mom of two and, yes, sometimes two kids is exhausting but i do really really REALLY try to take time to have special moments with my boys despite how lazy or crabby i want to be. and i intend to do the same after this baby comes, as well! 

i know this all sounds very deep over a little parking lot walk-by but honestly these little snarky comments happen all too often in the world, and i am tired of keeping my mouth shut just so that lady could feel like she did me a service and warned me... plus, being pregnant usually makes me feel i have more right to being less tolerant - haha. imagine that! but honesty i wish i was that blunt all of the time. moms need to stop trying to be (and look better) than one another. instead we should encourage and learn from one another. stand behind each other and cheer one another on! 

please, do not ever let another mom make you feel like you don't know what a busy life is like. We are ALL busy! as long as you are happy with how you parent, and you listen to your heart, what more can you do than that! being a mom is a constant learning experience - and no mom is better than another. no mom has it all figured out. and you are not alone when you feel like ripping your hair out some days. we all have things that need to be done and little people who constantly need our full attention, and it is tiring, and it is hard, but it is also the most wonderful thing filled with so many hidden moments that are tiny and beautiful - it is just learning how to find them. 


Hannah said...

the look sooo fabulous! love their outfits!

Victoria / Justice Pirate said...

One of my best friends has three kids all under the age of 3 and she gets the worst remarks from people like you received. They make it seem like her children are burdensome and hard to handle, but she is a great mom! I have two sons and don't really have a hard time with them, though of course there are their personality traits to deal with at times, but they are great boys. . .and thankfully I never get remarks like you, though I am sure if I were pregnant with a third I'd hear it just as my friend has heard. It is very sad how much of a problem children have become to people. . . :(
Great photos by the way.