Saturday, December 1, 2012

30 weeks

things your friends don't tell you about pregnancy with your third. 30 weeks.

well, a typical morning starts at about 4 am, after you 3 attempts to roll over you can finally heave your body out of bed. you make sure you can stand stable on your wobbly, aching legs. they are wobbly because at this point you have probably gotten fat  gained the total wright of your other 2 pregnancies put on a couple extra baby pounds. after you make sure your aching bones can walk, you stumble to the bathroom like a 3 year old who just realized they have to pee. you struggle to get your pants down around your puffy thighs, much like that 3 year old who has waited too long to go to the bathroom. if you can make it there in time, congrats! once you go to the bathroom you realize you are starving and could eat an elephant. you stumble to the kitchen and grab yourself a snack. for the first time since waking up you are very grateful it is dark, this way no one can see you shove your face like a kid devouring their first birthday cake. after you are satisfied, you head back to bed. after tripping on 5 things you swear you will pick-up in the morning you lay down and try to remember how to fall asleep. you toss, you turn, you kick your husband (simply because you are mad that he is peacefully sleeping through this entire event) and finally you drift back off. 

at 7:00 am you are startled awake by your husband's alarm you decide it is time to get your kids up and ready for the day, but first you clear the crumbs out of bed that your shelf-of-a-stomach decided to bring to bed after your private little snack session. you hobble off to the bathroom once again, this time with much greater success since you are alert and can see. you then remind yourself that this will all be worth it because you know you are nearing the end. kind of. after you got your kids up and fed you do a mini cheer for making it through without any tears. then it happens... you sneeze... this isn't a big deal normally, but now with 2 other pregnancies  and this 30 weeks under your belt it requires a full pants change. don't worry your bladder will stop leaking once you have the baby... right??? RIGHT??? 

you make it to school on time and you have 1 /3 of the day already accomplished - congrats!! you read books, do a couple puzzles and any other activity that includes sitting. now it is lunch time -oh, wait another bathroom break- now it's lunch time. you throw a toddler-like fit because nothing sounds good. oh, wait whatever you have eaten for the last 5 days in a row finally sounds like the perfect meal. so you eat and are happy. it is nap time (for you, of course). you lie down and pray your toddler feels like sleeping too. he doesn't. so you turn barney on, quick run to the bathroom... you do this quickly because you are wasting precious sleep time. now you drift into la la land while your toddler sits in a barney-trance at your sleeping side. yay! you wake-up in a surprisingly good mood because your toddler has managed to stay put - as far as you know. you rush off for another pee break and you leave with a spring in your step because you realized those bags under your eyes have almost, i said almost, disappeared.  now with your current success and your semi-refreshed looking face you remember the fun things you want to do. you remember that one friend you have left? (don't panic, you only have one friend because you have been holed up and pouting for the last 3 weeks about your weight - the others are sure to understand and forgive once you have the baby) anyways, that one friend you have left, you decide to text her and meet up for a dessert/treat. you even change out of your sweats. you are surprisingly, IMPRESSIVELY, patient with your un-napped toddler! you don't even complain that you have to pee again! you tell her how you have completely lost motivation for putting together a nursery and don't even know how many weeks along you are exactly. nesting has clearly not kicked in yet. and you don't even hate her for losing a few pounds and looking great while you look like a whale. see the 2 of you will be friends forever! silent cheer! you had fun! fun... my kids are so fun! your brain drifts... my kids are so adorable... kids.... kids... KIDS! oh, that's right, there is that sweet child who needs to get picked up from school!! hurry. hurry! rush. rush! thank heavens you are just down the street! you make it on time. whew! 

once, you get home you decide that laundry should get done so your husband thinks you at least did something productive today. you feel like a body builder, bending down to pick up that 800lb weight, when you lift the laundry basket. everyone (when i say everyone, i mean no one) cheers when you finally get it lifted up the stairs. you do the laundry and it felt so good you decide to do dishes, too. your husband arrives home and is impressed that you have a smile on your face and dinner started. you take this gesture serious and decide that it is his way of saying he will take the kids for the night. well, he is home now and you are going to take advantage! so you hand the kids over to him and sit on the couch and do nothing else the rest of the night except get up to pee and put them to bed. 

you then go to bed yourself, oh wait, first you pee, then you go to bed. 

the end. 

ps hold on tight only 10 more weeks of this to go! 

gold top hm, black tee lnaclothing, jeans hm, shoes juicy couture

me before this pregnancy... hang on tight... there is hope!!

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