So this question has come up a lot for me lately. How do you know if your child is happy?
When I scroll through photos I look at my boys and I see completely different souls. Immediately my eyes search Rowan's facial expression wondering what it holds. Brinley... well he is much easier to read - mischief and carefree are the immediate words that come to mind. But with Rowan things are much more serious. His look is very strong and at times I feel it is almost unhappy. It pains me at times to see how serious he is about life and reality. He is much to young to carry the worries he bares. But I have been praying out ways to really reach him and see what is going on deep in his heart. While I was doing that I got a precious voice telling me to leave him be. That he isn't unhappy but that he loves life just as fully as anyone else around him, he just doesn't show his emotions publicly. It was in that instant that I knew he was perfect just the way he is. That he is happy and his heart has a gentle way of expressing things. It was me who wasn't seeing the joy that he holds. It was me thinking that he needed to express happiness in the same way I do.
I am learning that as parents we try to fix so many things that we think are "wrong" and we strive to help our kids be a certain way, a way we envision them to be. But instead we need to let them be themselves and just help them do it in the best way possible. Rowan may be more serious than Brinley but he also sees beauty in people and things that most of us would miss. He looks deep into the heart of the matter. He holds so much care and thought in every word that is spoken to him. And his soul is searching and striving for the best at all times.
I now know we can't always look at our children and assess them based on what we see, for our view is skewed in to our own way of thinking. Instead we need to see them how God sees them - beautiful just as they are, created in His image. God has a plan and a purpose for each of us. He knows what is happening deep inside of us and sees what no man can see. We need to stop worrying so much about if we are doing things right, because we may try too hard to change our kids into being something that they are not. I don't want to change them. I just want to help them grow into who they already are. I want to help them become what God created them to be. I want them to be the best possible versions of themselves.
Rowan is happy and full of life and love and I am so glad that I get to see his unique way of expressing it. I am so thankful that I get to be taught by his strong character each and every day.
Rowan wears: pants by Little z kids // bobo choses tank // hunter wellies
Brinley wears: mini rodini shorts // American apparel hat // chaser brand tee // hunter wellies
baby sling c/o Sakura bloom