Knots in my stomach.
Tomorrow we will be leaving Wrennyn for the first time over night. Not only overnight... but for 10 days. I am just in knots over the whole thing! We have a very exciting adventure we are embarking on, we will be traveling out of the country and we decided it was best to leave him behind (by we decided it was best... I mean he actually didn't meet the age requirements.) It absolutely broke my heart, but in reality it will be best for Wrennyn AND for the older boys to do it this way. We will be in warm climates and I was nervous about how hot it will be out in the sun and how to keep him comfortable and hydrated... so it really is just better that he is safe at home getting loved on by my amazing family who stepped up and said the would watch him! Plus, we will be able to get to be more involved in the activities the older boys are doing and maybe even fit more in without having a tiny babe to care for.
My biggest fear in leaving Wrennyn is that he won't want to nurse when I get home. You guys, I am just hurting even thinking about it! 10 days on a bottle and I think it will be harder on me than him. I will miss our intimate time together and our quiet little moments where I get to just absorb all that he is for a few minutes. This isn't the end of our nursing journey - just pray with me that he does ok while I am away! And that he wants to nurse when I return! I can't even stand the thought of not being able to have that special time together again. Pleas share if you have gone through this! I would love to hear encouraging words about you guys being away from your breast-fed babies! I did have a client give me some great advice about how to help Wrennyn and myself adjust and transition back to nursing when I get home, and I can't wait to share the tricks and tips that worked for us (once I find out what they are!) It doesn't feel quite the same leaving him behind, we will all miss our smiley little boy - but we know it is safest for him to not join our travel quite yet.
But on the fun side of things!
We are going to take the boys to the ocean! Neither Rowan or Brinley have seen the ocean in all of it's glory, so we can't wait to bring them. Both boys took a flight when they were under the age of 2, but not since so all of this will be an exciting journey! We are bursting at the seams to share a little bit more - but we can't quite tell you the entire story, so you will have to stay tuned! Only 1 more day to go and I will be able to spill my guts! :) While we are away I won't really be posting on our blog, but you can follow us on instagram here for tiny snippets of our surprise! We can't wait to get on our way!
Please say a little prayer for me - I am having a hard time knowing that I will be leaving a big part of my heart behind on this trip. I have never felt so torn about my emotions like I am right now. I want to be excited, but can't deny this anxiety I am having knowing sweet little Wrennyn won't be in my constant care. It will be a beautiful moment when I get to scoop him back up in my arms upon our return!
wrennyn's pants c/o little vida nyc
brinley's shirt c/o noe and zoe