Friday, October 25, 2013

all this drama over a sippy cup.


So my mom bought Wrennyn his first sippy cup. Call me dramatic but I felt a little offended by how nicely he took to it. Like HELLO! Am I chopped liver? My body has been giving this kid all the fluids he has needed up until this point and he didn't even thank me by rejecting the thing. I mean look at how intimately he is holding onto the top! DUDE! Who do you think taught you that intimate hold? Um yeah that would be MY BODY! He even had the nerve to chew on the spout - as if he was saying "Hey, lady, you try to take this away from me and nurse me instead, look at what my new teeth can do to you!" So I backed off (and by backed off I mean quit trying to pry the sippy cup out of his intense, white-knuckle grip) and sat and sulked. Sure I let him enjoy his moment with his cup, I am a good mom and want to see him happy. But I am not going to lie, I really felt sad at how big it made him seem. Every moment in that first year is especially fleeting. It flies so quickly. I am not ready to let any of it go, especially nursing him. Wrennyn soon got bored and decided to throw the cup at the dog - which was clearly just as much fun as drinking out of it. Even though it was a brief euphoric moment with his sippy cup (like 3 minutes) it felt like forever. I sat there still slightly offended. I had hoped he would hate the thing and want his mommy, but nope. My inner drama queen flashed forward about 16 years and realized no matter how much heart and love you put into raising them, one day they will {with ease} transition onto something new. Wrennyn still obviously nurses and his sippy was a temporary relief for teething, but I couldn't help but feel that is what teenagers might be like. They come to you for love and support but they don't even flinch when they ditch you for something new and better, and they don't have a clue at how much it pains you to let them happily skate out the door. Raising kids is really emotional. Some days I feel like I am insane with the way my emotions switch on and off. I guess that must be what unconditional love feels like, you want them to have the things they love even if it means you aren't in the picture and have to sacrifice being part of the experience. Who knew a sippy cup would be so tragic?! I guess, it just showed me how quickly my baby is growing and how close I am to not being needed. To think this is the last time I will be nursing a baby and having that deep bond is so much harder than I ever expected. I am not ready to let it go - not yet, but I know that the time will come soon and it seriously pains me. I don't want to let any of them grow up! I just love life and our family so much right now at this stage! All I can do is pray that my boys will always stay mama's boys... forever, because my heart won't be able to take anything less than that.


2 comments:

April Ansell said...

So sweet... I have two boys 4&5. I can't believe how fast they have grown and every time they no longer need my help for something my heart breaks. It is amazing how fast it all happens. Too bad we can't press pause on all these little moments as a mom....

Charlotte said...

I don't know. I am 31 one and still need my mommy sometimes. My kids are 14 months and 3.5 weeks, even though I have a newborn I've been feeling really sad at how quickly my oldest is changing.