Friday, March 7, 2014

slow down

Today I saw a man on the road trying to pass another car, the car wasn't going slow, it was just that the guy seemed to be in a hurry for no reason. Once he finally got around the slower driver, he graciously stuck his hand out the window and flicked the slower driver off for a good 40 seconds. I just sat there watching this, as someone who wasn't in a hurry, and here is what I thought. The guy that got flicked off wasn't by any means driving slowly. In fact, I thought he was just being a normal driver. The man who was tailgating him, swerving his car near him,  and who eventually flicked him off was just trying to prove that he owned the road and we were to drive by his standards.

I was watching the entire situation from behind and seeing how irrelevant it was, and how giving the man "the bird" served absolutely NO PURPOSE. How getting somewhere 5 minutes sooner really wouldn't make much of a difference in the grand scheme. It all was a terrible showcase of this driver's pride. He was prideful in thinking that everyone should drive according to his standard. He thought that even though the man was going to speed limit it wasn't good enough for him, so he took it upon himself to use his car to make threatening maneuvers and essentially force the man to do things his way. I know this all sounds like a common occurrence, but it really made me think. How many times do we try to get people to do things our way? How we deem right? Is it fair that just because someone does something different than us that we accuse them of being wrong? This world we are living in is becoming more focused on ourselves and our point of view. It is stopping us from being good people  who love someone where they are at, and instead we are forcing our views onto others, and telling them how they need to do things our way.

I see this happen all too often with moms. Instead of coming together and backing one another we are too stuck on our differences (you vaccinate and I don't, or you eat organic and I don't) do those things really matter? Does spewing out your opinion and stance on those subjects really mean you can't be friends with someone or support them? At the end of the day, what difference does it make? It really is more a place that we are full of pride in our decision and we maybe force people out of our lives because they just don't do it our way. Well, what if your way isn't for everyone? Maybe that person is just finding the means of getting from here to there in the way that best fits them. What if none of it really matters? It isn't that one way is perfect. It is just that you have to find the route and the direction that fits your life - and how you do things is not a standard for you to declare upon anyone else you encounter. At the end of it all, we are all just going the same direction but find different ways to get there. Don't be a jerk and feel that it is your business to police the roads. You have no right to demand that someone do things your way, or the way you see fit at the time. I seriously challenge you into thinking of how often you correct people, even your children because they aren't doing things at your speed or the way you see fit. I think you'd be surprised at how often and in how many areas we do this. But I want you to take a step back and really think hard. Did it matter that the driver go to the exit ramp 30 seconds faster? No, not really. It wasn't a matter of life or death - it was a matter of pride. It was a matter of being self centered. In fact, if he was in a hurry it was probably due to poor time management on his part, and not anyone else's fault. We really need to be more aware of taking life in, not rushing through it and plowing down the people who are in front of us.

What I am trying to say, is, your way isn't always right. It is not always best, and it certainly isn't for everybody. So sit down and shut up. Think of others a little more, and yourself a little less. We may all be going the same direction at different paces, and it may be hard to accept how others go through life, but it's not your business to correct them. You can't control those around you, you can only control how you represent yourself and how you treat other's while you're on the journey.


Elizabeth said...

I want the chair in the first picture and this is so true!

ruffledsnob said...

Elizabeth, I know the print is amazing! The blue chair in the second photo is on my birthday list! LOL

meganebertz said...

I love this!

Jennifer Jenkins said...

Thank you for this post!!! What you have to say is so very true. Before I became a mom I didn't see this as clearly as I thought... Looking back I was rushing everywhere, somewhat set in my ways and had so many of my own opinions (that I usually didn't voice but still they were often judgemental). Now I notice the change in myself, much more open and relaxed. As moms and people we often need to remember to "stop and smell the roses". It really isn't anyones place to tell another that the path they're choosing is wrong. Bravo for an insightful post.

Life is Peaches

Hazel&Ginger said...

Thank you for this post! This could not have come at a more perfect time. My sweet 6 year old boy is having a strange reaction to a sunburn and his face has swollen to the point of being unrecognizable. I worried what kids would say and how they would treat him. To my surprise, it was other mothers staring and judging! We need to do as our children do, and accept everyone, despite our differences!