Wednesday, April 16, 2014

style smaller | growing pains


As a mother it is your job to protect your child. We want to keep them away from every circumstance that may harm them or hurt them. Well, once you send your child off to grade school it is a learning curve as a mom. You can't keep them away from everything, it turns more into a battle of how to teach them to deal with it and how to stand up for themselves while still maintaining a "how to be likable" factor. It is a lesson that has come well into play during first grade. Rowan is by far my meekest child. He doesn't like to stand out and he certainly doesn't want to be embarrassed and he doesn't want to be lonely. What I have really noticed is how much his wardrobe and discussing what he is wearing comes into conversation. Things he may love when at home he requests to not wear them to school for fear of being teased. My heart breaks at how young these things happen. It is overwhelming as a mom to find your child having anxiety over clothes. I mean what the crap! FIRST GRADE! Why do the kids give a rip?!? Why do they pay attention and focus on these things? There are kids who look for every opportunity at hand to tease those around them, and there is no protection from it. So, with Rowan battling how to stand up for himself yet wanting to fit in I have really taken a look at the things I am putting him in. I made a conscious and intentional effort to get things that are more athletic looking, and to stay away from prints that were questionable. It is a sad time to think that children this young pay such close attention to these things. Why can't it be cool just because you like it? Since Rowan isn't one to stand up for  himself I really had to keep in mind that kids may notice what he has on, and he won't want to stand out too much. So keeping it basic yet unique was a big task for me since I tend to like loud and dual-gender prints.

Rowan and I have  had a few discussions about clothes not mattering. I have also expressed to him how important it is to not tease other's about what they wear. He knows that it is just a fun thing to dress up, but that it in NO WAY represents who a person is as a whole. So, I let him have a say and pick out his own clothes this year. I wanted to be sure he felt confident in what he wears. We both loved these Soft Gallery finds from my friend Kinga's shop Four Monkeys - I feel like they are really natural laid-back pieces and they still have a cool athletic factor. I also let Rowan choose his shoes for the spring and he picked these sleek MAA shoes which I love because they can be sporty or dressy depending on how we pair them. I really wanted to keep his look athletic and comfortable without giving into sports gear plastered with logo and obnoxious sayings on them, I feel like this is a really great look that translates well with his age.

It is such a unique transition in parenting when you hit these "social norms" that are completely relevant. We are learning how to find our way one step at a time.

You can find Rowan's tee here // shorts here // shoes here (coming to the site soon) // bag is from here


Nico said...

I am curious why you don't get more input from your son on what you buy for him. He seems old enough to have interests that might dictate his apparel. Does he like superheroes? Cartoons? etc.
Have you considered handing him the reigns on what clothes get purchased? I tend to see kids wearing shirts with their favorite superheroes and cartoons but it seems he wears things that will almost certainly have him stand out among his peers (which is not generally a problem, unless you have a son who's vocalized being uncomfortable with that).

ruffledsnob said...

Nico, actually he does get a lot of free reign, I always check and make sure he likes an item before I purchase it. He likes sports gear and we always let him wear it when he wants unless we are going to a formal situation. But again, the point is I don't want him to like character shirts just because his peers do, I wouldn't say no to him getting one, but I don't want him to like things just because of peer pressure.