Friday, November 27, 2015

christmas tree farm | memories over time

When I was young I was thrown in the backseat of the car last minute to see the Northern Lights - in the dead of winter, groggy and in our pjs, with our fuzzy eyes we drove an hour in the dark. When we arrived my sisters and I weren't sure exactly what it was, and I still don't remember it other than I was happy we got ice cream afterwards. We talk about that story all the time - I didn't have a clue back then, but it is one of my favorite memories. After that, it never ended -- staying up late to see an eclipse,  last minute drive to a desolate area to see a meteor shower, motorcycle trips out of the state via the major scenic route, passing by herds of buffalo on a motorcycle - the list never ended. Some days I was happy to just be out of the house and other days I just went along because, well, I had no choice. I didn't know it at the time, but later in life some of those things my father did for me were the ones that meant the world. Now I finally get it. I understand the beauty my dad wanted me to see all around. The moments he shared with me, weren't just for his enjoyment, they were for me, because one day they would be part of me in a new way. I don't remember when it was, but one day I woke up and I finally figured out how to appreciate everything he taught me long ago. How I wished I understood it all when it was happening. I wish I had known to take in the air when we were up early with the sun. Or to sit quietly in the dark night to look up at the star swishing across the sky, instead of trying to will myself back to sleep in the bed of the truck. I wish I had imagined the lives of those who lived in those far off places we visited. I wish I had thought to ask more questions. I wish I had understood what he wanted me to see at the time. 

It took time, but I am so thankful for the process of learning about the world I live in. Even if I didn't see it at that moment. I see it now, and the memories are still with me, and I am thankful for them. I hoped my kids would learn to love nature at an earlier age than I did... like I somehow expected them to have this insane love for learning about their surroundings and share that with me before they grow up. I know that is part of why I love getting a real Christmas tree, to have the full experience of the day. The smell of the trees, the hot cocoa, the sleigh rides, the campfire with local strangers. The cheer of finding the perfect tree! I love being the ones to pick out the tree that will share our home during the special moments of the holidays. I know my kids don't understand all of that now, and they might not share the exact excitement that I have over it, but one day, one day they will wake up and realize how happy they are for all those warm memories filled with nature. Those moments that secretly seep into their soul and stay with them forever and I hope it changes how they raise their own children. 

I am taking this time to remind myself that my kids might never hold all the same interests as I do, but I am ok with that. I am grateful for all the things they teach me about myself, and one day when they are grown up, they will look back and find these pieces that we have instilled in them and be grateful -- just as I woke up one day with parts my father instilled in me {finally} coming alive in me! 

I just want to encourage you, stay with it. You are doing a great job even if it isn't all roses. One day these might be the memories that bring them the greatest pleasures in life, or lead them down a path that ignites them. Not every memory is meant for right now. It takes time, it is a process. Continue to share the best parts of yourself with them, and I promise it won't be wasted. 

So ,whether you purchase a real tree or use an artificial, I pray that you and your family make many memories together at this time - even if your kids aren't prancing around the tree while you dress it, there will be a day when they look back and you will all be grateful for those times you spent making memories together. xo

A very special thank you to my friends over at APPAMAN for creating gorgeous outerwear for kids. I love their Pratt Down Parka is worn by both Brinley here and Rowan here (c/o appaman). If you have kids, you must check out their amazing range - we have a few suits and hats from them and love everything they make!

**insert** don't get me wrong, my kids enjoy going to choose our tree, but the process is lost on them. I would love to take a long time walking the rows and drifting through the tree farm slowly, but for them cold sets in. They lose interest in me pretty quick when there is so much else to do. Some days, we all just enjoy the moments very differently (I know I can often romanticize how these things should be done)... xx


Unknown said...

I love this post. What you are saying is so true! I have been reexaming traditions now that I'm a Mom of two and you perfectly explain the why that I've been trying to figure out myself. I also love your littlest one's whole look! Would you also share who makes his hat, gloves, sweater coat and scarf?

ruffledsnob said...

Alexandra, thank you so much for your sweet words!

His outfit and the gorgeous hat is from a lovely etsy shop here ( and his gap sweater is new (over here use code EXTEND for 50% off!!!), but the scarf and mittens are from last year

Charles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charles said...

So Pretty
I really like the outfit!!!

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